Chin up now, my sweet
and I'll tell you the tale
gather quietly into the coven.
Don't encourage a man
to sup at your side
when he really belongs in the oven.

Men are better enjoyed
when you stuff them with love
and prepare them with patience and care.
If you cook them just right
you really will find
they make rather delectable fare.

Now now love, don't fret.
It's time that you learn
what's gone on, dear, since time first began.
In nature, you see
we all have a place,
one for woman, another for man.

A hierarchy, that's it
in the food chain, you see.
In this pyramid, women take top.
At the bottom is algae,
then comes sea life, and beasts,
next come men, and then us, then we stop.

For the planet to flourish
in this eco-design
we must follow God's intricate plan.
The strong eat the weak
and so to survive,
woman really must live off a man.

No reason to fuss
Italian? Chinese?
En brochette, in turnover, or flan?
You'll learn over time
with this kind of cuisine,
that one really must catch as catch can.

Ah the men I have loved!
My tastes how they've changed!
Rhapsodically waxing, I am.
The priest was a lamb
The mailman, a peach
But your father was really a ham!

My men know me well
They don't squabble or moan
the dears know it's at lunch do us part.
They've learned that my stomach
is the start of the path
that leads straight and direct to my heart.

You have trouble with men
when you try to befriend them
their behavior's insipid and lewd.
Fish don't cuddle the kelp,
bears don't laugh with the fish,
and we too mustn't play with our food.

It can all be such fun
Just relax and enjoy
Attachments we all must eschew.
Soon you'll joke with the girls
that you swallow with men
But (ha, ha) only after you chew!

***
Get in contact with Elyse Meuer.